I find myself in that familiar place
where wounds reopen
and the feeling of danger
beckons to race

Old scars wanting to tear apart
like a stray bullet to the heart
Old habits emerge so mindless
despite being met with kindness

I question if I've really healed
If these years have anything to yield
Uncomfortable is how I've felt
Do I peek at this hand that is dealt

I'm at a crossroad of old and new
Simply locked scared at what to do

Yet I know I will choose you

I will always wear my heart on my sleeve
No matter the times it's torn away
In the work I've done I believe

Will keep you beside me day by day

This 'uncomfortable' is my test
Trust me that you'll get my best
My work will not be undone
because what we have has just begun

"I rebuilt my Temple, just to jump from the roof."

I can't just simply love
Simple words mean nothing appealing
When there is an absolute depth
To how I am really feeling

I love you like the first bloom in Spring
The singing of birds
The chatter of the bugs
I love you like picnic hugs

I love you like Summer's first heat
The blazing sun and a giant pool
The sweet repeat
The charcoal grill with searing meat

I love you like the first fallen leaf of Fall
You are the crunch of the leaves beneath my toes
You are the blanket
You are the first chill breeze that tickles my nose

I love you like the first Winter snowfall
Pure white, with footprint flaws
You are the snowflake upon my finger
Unique among them all, but here with me you've come to fall

To fall with you is what I'll do
I don't love in simplicity
I love in pictures and feelings
This is just a glimpse of what you mean to me

"We quote the good, but are poetic of the bad."

I thought I found the best
A god among the rest
But it was just a test
It's just a jest

A joke to show me I'm not real
To show me I'll never truly feel
How to love in life
Without the strife

Without the pain of past
Showing me it can't last
A fist full of lies
Punching the inner me as it dies

I'm on my last bump of hope
As if it's a form of dope
Thinking I'm gonna be alright
Without the will to fight

I just lie here and frown
I'll wear my smiling painted mask
And I'll drown
In enough liquor to fill an endless flask

I'm wrapped up in my head
Through that forest fogged with dread
Congrats to my demons you won
I'm tired and numb

You've convinced me my fears are real
That I've lost and made a deal
Trapped in rewind
The same emotions are what I find

It's too good to be true
Now I wonder what to do
I'm angry and morose
Taking in depression like a drug overdose

I hate my own reflection
I'm always trying a new deflection
To pretend that I can't feel pain
In my forest, it begins to rain

I'll choose to die inside
I'll choke on my pride
***** what we call life
Next time, stab me with a real knife

My hearts under arrest
From things I detest
Barely able to find the word
Nothing to speak, nothing heard

Hell is real
It's all in my head
I struck a deal
With depression in bed

My feelings don't want to give
They don't want to take
They don't care to live
If it'll protect them from what's fake

I'm at a standstill, I've hit my wall
I remember it all
The pains of the past
That lead to my near curtain call

The problem you see
Is that it's all up to me

To leave the walls I so easily hopped in
To leave what is now my coffin