i’m alone
there are people home
but i am alone
my room is the only place
that i am safe
i am alone.

i sit in my room;
i think of my past;
i don’t deserve the life i have;
it’s hard to see your mistakes,
your insecurities;
i cry at the thought.
this poem has no purpose.
is it really even a poem?
does it have a happy ending?
no.
it just
ends.

i wonder if it will last
is everything really in the past?
i never want to say goodbye
i know i’ll have to one day
i just hope
that it isn’t
soon.

she was your wife
she misses you
she doesn't want to just be the smoke from your lungs
escaping into the winter air
but what i fear
is that im the cigarette
that you bring to your lips
then toss out the window
when you're finished.

i didn't realize you didn't care.
i tried so hard
to be there for you,
but you blew me off
like birthday candles.
my favorite smell;
next to pine trees,
on a cold december morning,
where i find myself missing you,
again.
it just turns out,
that all the pretty words you said to me
were lies
and thats alright
because
ill just find myself lying in someone else's bed tonight.

wondering
do you ever wonder why,
as i drive by,
how i throw my cigarette out the window?
so violently..
it's because i dont want it..
to fly back in.
sometimes i think,
you're just like that cigarette.
you fly back in..
unbeknownst to me
and burn my carpet.
leaving another mark,
so subtle.
yet another reminder,
of my black lungs
and black heart.
no thanks,
to you.