I'm sad,
but I feel like I'm not sad enough.

I hate food,
but not enough to stop eating.

I hurt myself,
but not enough for people to notice.

I want to die,
but not enough to seek it.

I want happiness
but i'm too scared to lose my identity.

I'm mad,
but not enough to seek revenge.

I'm a kid,
but not enough to live my life.

long, long, ago
i developed a scar.
i don't know how it happened,
but it did.
and suddenly,
everything changed.
my first thought was to put a band-aid over
so i could cover it up
and pretend it wasn't there
i didn't want anyone else to worry
from seeing my pain.

and then a few years passed.
and it only deepened.
now my scar has only gotten worse
but i've gotten so use to covering it up
i don't know how to not.
everyone else shows their scar.
and mine remains hidden.

and then there was you.
you with your perfect smile and straight teeth
you with your twinkling eyes
you and your elaborate words.
you took my arms and held them close.
you told me you'd always be there.
you told me i was your world
and that love
was too small of a word
for what it meant.
you loved me for me.
and i believed you.

and slowly, i began to love you too
and i did something i had never done
i showed you my scars.

i showed you my scars,
and you poured salt right into them.

- a.g.