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Dec 2019 · 461
Enough
Nina Dec 2019
Everyone leaves
And i wondered
Why wasn't i enough
Then i realised
I was too much
For them to handle
I was more than enough
Dec 2019 · 179
Kill myself
Nina Dec 2019
I **** myself
Everyday
Just by loving you
Dec 2019 · 416
2020
Nina Dec 2019
Every year,
I'd wish to find someone that wouldn't break my heart
But next year,
I'll wish for something different
I wish that I won't fall in love
Let me be free
And meet new people
Without catching feelings
Let me be heartless
Because im too tired
To suffer another year of heartache
Dec 2019 · 146
Picture of us
Nina Dec 2019
I've kept a picture of us
At the back of my phone
And i was asked so many times,
"Why do you still have his picture,
When he's long gone?"

All i could say is That
in the picture
I could see myself
Truly happy
When i was with him

Maybe I shouldn't hold on
But that picture
Reminds me of the time
I've been genuinely happy
Dec 2019 · 454
Beggar
Nina Dec 2019
I was told
Numerous time
To never beg for love
To never give out love so easily
But it's so hard
When all i can do is love others
But never myself
So i kept begging
Begging for someone
To love me back
Even though
I know
I'm so much more than a beggar
Dec 2019 · 646
Smile!!
Nina Dec 2019
Every time
You'd see me with a sad face
You'd tell me to smile
Every time
I seem moody
You'd tell me to smile
And when you know that  I won't smile
You'd end up doing the things that will make me smile

You said my smile
Was my biggest attraction
But little did you know
My smiles are all because of you
Dec 2019 · 100
Was it all a lie
Nina Dec 2019
I'm reading back all our text messages
And it made me wonder
Was everything a lie?
Maybe your words were genuinely true
Maybe it faded as time passes by
I hope what you said back then
Were all true
I wish it wasnt a lie
I want to believe that it just faded
Dec 2019 · 196
Old messages
Nina Dec 2019
I'm reading all of our old messages
And imagining those days
Reliving those memories
I cant help it but to smile
And laugh
Such a wonderful moment
And yet
It hurts so much
That I'm crying
Crazy how its just old messages
But im still able to remember vividly of those days
Just through texts
Dec 2019 · 161
Never mine
Nina Dec 2019
You were never mine
From the beginning
And yet
I was always yours
From the start
Dec 2019 · 224
Last text
Nina Dec 2019
If i knew
We were going to be strangers again
I would've better prepared myself
And made sure
That my last text to you
Would've been an
I love you
Dec 2019 · 147
New lover
Nina Dec 2019
I won't deny
I'm still in love with you
But you have a new lover now
And so do i
Someday
I know i will let go of you
So to my new lover
Please be patient
I'm trying my best
to let go of my old lover
But i can promise you
I will belong to you
And only you
Once those old feelings are gone
You will be the only one that matter to me
So hold on
And wait for me
To fall for you
Completely
Dec 2019 · 483
Dear Aaron
Nina Dec 2019
Dear Aaron,
You will not see this
But this is a message for you
And also a reminder to myself of your very existence.

I was a waitress
And you were a customer
To be more specific,
You were one of the teams we sponsored.

And yet, out of the guys there
You were the one that caught my eye
You weren't that goodlooking
There were better guys in the team
And yet,
I caught feelings the moment i saw you
You had that geeky nerdy look
You were really tall and weird
Something about you made me fell for you

I tried to approach you,
In any way possible.
I tried to take your order everytime
Serve your drinks, your food.
I wanted to get close to you
And when i did,
I was attracted to you even more.
You had that blue eyes
And cute smile
The kind that makes me fall for you.
Everytime i see you,
My mood just lighten up
You instantly make me happy
Without even trying
I guess just the sight of you cheers me up.
I'll be honest, I've always laid my eyes on you
Everytime i could
From a far,
I would stare at you
That was how obsessed i was with you

So i shoot my shot, took the risk
And I asked for your instagram
You gave it to me
I was really happy.
you were the first one to text me
It made me happy for a long time
And the first thing you said was,
You find me beautiful with my hair down.
It made me genuinely happy that you noticed me too

You knew i had feelings for you
I guess it was that obvious
And you told me that you werent looking for a relationship
And that you just wanted to have fun and meet different girls
it made me sad, but happy at the same time that you were honest with your intentions
But it was too late, i already caught feelings
So I didn't mind if you hurt me
I already like you
And i wanted to know you more
So i let it be

You didnt want me to catch feelings but wanted to make me happy
So you asked me out on a date, just one.
We went to the gardens
It was a beautiful view
But you were the greatest view i had
I was sad that it was only going to be just one date
But i wanted to make the most out of it
We went to my favourite pizza bar afterwards
We talked
And you ate a lot.

We went from one date, to a few.
From going to the beach
To drinking together
To going to the cinemas
To ice cream dates
All of those times i spent with you
Was a memorable one

We used to have video calls late at night whenever i end work early
Just talking
Just staring at each other
It made me really happy
Or how you'd randomly visit me at work
Saying you were craving for shepherds pie
When you knew i ended work early that day
So you could get ice cream with me afterwards

It's amazing how you knew me so well
When i wasn't okay,
You'd offer to meet for drinks
Or let me sleep over at your place
But you'd always call me when you know im not okay
Because you knew, looking at you made me happy

Its all the little things that you do
Made me love you even more

You didn't have feelings for me
Yet you treated me so nicely
You were mean,
Youd insult me
But i know those insults, were meant to make me shine
So thank you,
Because you made me know im worth so much more
You made me love myself.
You never judged me for my past
You were always there comforting me
You were always honest
You never lied
Even when you went out with other girls,
You told me.
It was a ******* move to tell me.  But i knew you didnt want to hide it from me.

Its been months now,
And look at you, you're dating someone now
I always thought id be the one you'd fall for
I guess im not the perfect girl for you
But regardless of all that,
Im happy for you.
I hope she's everything you ever wanted
I hope she knows how much you need to eat.
I hope she enjoys your singing as much as i do
I hope she knows how much you love chocolates and how much of a big lion king fan you are.
I hope she comforts you for your insecurities better than i was able to.
I guess i wasnt enough to make you fall for me.
But thank you,
Because knowing you, gave me loads of happy memories.
It's sad that we can't go back to how it used to be.
But i am thankful for everything.
I wish you the best in life
And will always watch you from afar
You are somewhere special in my heart
No matter how far you will be
I will always love you
And i hope you'll know that
Aaron,
Grá go Deo.
Dec 2019 · 361
"The greatest bastard"
Nina Dec 2019
We were listening to damien rice
And you asked me
"Am i the greatest ******* that you met?"
I laughed
And said "you are"
Just like the lyrics
You were exactly the same

"You made me laugh, You made me cry
You made me open up my eyes
You helped me open out my wings
My legs, and many other things
You helped me love, you helped me live
You helped me learn how to forgive

You were the greatest ******* that i know
The only one who let me go
the only one I can't forget"

So every time i listen to that song
I can't help it
But to think of you
And everything that you did
The memories we shared
And how i wish i could have you still

You were the greatest *******
The one i wish who would have stayed
Dec 2019 · 206
Irish man
Nina Dec 2019
I've never thought
I'd fall for an Irish man
Never have i ever
Considered falling for one
And yet
I did
I fell too deep
For a man i barely knew
And yet
I wanted to have a future with him
I wanted to learn  more about him

The first irish man
To ever made me fallen so deep
The one that taught me how to long myself
To accept me for who i am
Ive fallen for him too deeply
For he is the first man
To teach me so many things
To love myself
To accept myself
He was the first man
The first irish man
I'd fallen for
And  would always be in my heart
He was the first irish man
I want to have a future with
Dec 2019 · 278
You will always be the one
Nina Dec 2019
People told me
That I don't love you
They say,
It's just a temporary affection

If so,
Why am I still begging for you?
Why am i still thinking of you daily?
When you've been long gone.

Maybe someday i will get over you
But I'll be honest
You will always be the one
That i think of
That i will have feelings for
You will always be the one i look for
Even though you're long gone
You will always be the one i love
Dec 2019 · 716
That waitress
Nina Dec 2019
I'm that waitress
Every guy wants to be served by
Wants to talk to
Wants to bring out on a date
I'm that waitress
Guys would want to hit on
Want to bring back home
Want to take advantage of
Sadly that's all I'll ever be
A waitress they want to get laid by

Maybe someday
One day
There will be a guy
That will say
She's that waitress
I would want to marry
And have my future with
Maybe one day
I'd be a waitress
That people would view with good intentions
Nov 2019 · 312
Differences
Nina Nov 2019
I slept with you
And I slept with him
I thought it would feel the same
But hell was I wrong

You gave me comfort and safety
Made me sleep in peace knowing that you care for me
But when I slept with him,
I felt nothing
No safety
No comfort
It was empty
And it felt lonely

I guess nothing can change the fact that you will always be the one I wish I could sleep with
Oct 2019 · 237
Say it again
Nina Oct 2019
You call me your girl
But how can i be sure that it's true
When you're thousand miles away
You could be with someone else
So please don't get angry at me
When i ask you who is your girl
I just want you to say it again
That it's me
That I'm your girl
Claim me
As yours
Again and again
I just want you to say it
Say  it again
Because i love hearing it from you
Oct 2019 · 378
Look at me
Nina Oct 2019
It's been a month
Look at me
I'm doing fine without you
Look at me
Smiling and you're not the reason anymore
Look at me
I got a new haircut
Look at me
I've gained some weight
since the last time you saw me
Look at me
There's been so many changes
Since you left
Look at me
Look into my eyes
No matter how hard i try to lie
You'll  Know im not fine without you
Look at me
I miss you
And i want you
To look at me once again
Oct 2019 · 118
Processing love
Nina Oct 2019
I won't lie
I still miss you,
I still hope that one day
we will be Together
However
Things have changed
And we are back to strangers
I've told myself
I'll move on
I'm still in the process of it
So now
I'm with someone new
But he's miles away
And i hope
This time
Im pouring my feelings
to the right person
But its hard
Since im still in love with you
But worry not
I shall forget you one day
Because I've set myself
To love someone
Who is miles away
And wait for him to return to me
Oct 2019 · 608
Long distance relationship
Nina Oct 2019
It doesn't matter how far you are
I will still love you for you
Even if we aren't physically together
My feelings won't change
It will never fade
But what worries me is that
What if I'm the only one
That will keep on loving you
From a far
When you're out there
who knows
What you are doing
Loving someone one
Which is not me
The fear of you having someone else out there
Worries me
But regardless the situation
I will still love you
So i beg
Deep inside
That you will love me 
Only me
Til the end of time
Oct 2019 · 1.3k
What i do best
Nina Oct 2019
I'm always falling in love
Loving someone like
I've never been hurt before
And i guess that's what i do best
Loving someone
that doesn't love me back
Oct 2019 · 198
Priorities
Nina Oct 2019
When I'm on my phone,
I'd stop what I'm doing
Just to reply to your messages first
And if I'm away,
Your text messages are the first that I'd reply to
But sadly
That's not the case when it comes to you
Since i know you're always on your phone
But I'm the last person you'd reply to
And I'd have to wait til the next time you look at it again in order to get a reply
See that's the difference
You're my first priority
But I'm not even a priority to you
Oct 2019 · 1.5k
Love from afar
Nina Oct 2019
You're not mine to keep
But that won't stop me from loving you
So I'll keep on loving you
From a distance
Watching you
From afar
Praying
And hoping
For the best that you'll do
In life
And your future
I love you
Always
Oct 2019 · 245
It hurts
Nina Oct 2019
It hurts me deeply
Knowing that we are nothing
When i thought
We could've been something
It hurts me a lot
Know that you don't miss me at all
When I'm here dying to talk to you again
It hurts
Having to live each day
Without talking to you
Without waking up to your face
Feeling your warmth during those cold days

But that doesn't hurt as much as
When i still see you in person
But you don't talk to me
Nor look at me
It's as if I'm invisible to you
And the sad part is
I have to do the same
Pretend you're not there
And I can't smile when i look at you anymore
Instead
I'm holding my tears
And pretending to be fine
With you gone forever
It hurts
To be this way
Oct 2019 · 1.2k
Tattooed scars
Nina Oct 2019
I got myself tattoed
On the places
You used to leave
Love bites on


The bitter sweet marks
I wish i could relive
But has already come to an end
Oct 2019 · 1.6k
Hurting yet Smiling
Nina Oct 2019
I knew that I'll lose you someday
And that day
Has already past
It's been 2 weeks
Since i last saw you
And it hurts to know
That we are back to being strangers
And yet
I still keep your photos on my phone
And still smile at them
Knowing how happy i was
During that day
When i was with you
I was so happy
But all i can afford to do now
Is to smile
At those memories
Even though
Its hurting me deeply inside
Sep 2019 · 381
A poison I'd Take
Nina Sep 2019
I knew
That i would fall for him
When i first saw him
And at that moment
I knew
I would get hurt
But i didn't mind the pain
I didn't  mind
Killing myself
For him
He was like a poison to me
Something so dangerous
Yet I'd risk my life for
Sep 2019 · 2.0k
I love you and that's okay
Nina Sep 2019
I've already fallen for you
I swore I wouldn't
But i just couldn't stop falling
I know
You've warned me from the start
You're not interested in commitment
And i understood that
You're not ready
Not now
But I've already fallen for you
So that's okay
Use me
If it makes you happy
By all means
Make use of me
It makes no difference
I've already fallen for you
And that already hurts
So use me as your one night stand
It's the same
As one sided love
Either way
I will still get hurt
Because I'm already attach to you

So that's okay
I love you either way
Sep 2019 · 23.7k
Friends with benefits
Nina Sep 2019
We hug
We kiss
We cuddle
In bed

We were just friends
We made out
To him
We were having ***
To me
We were making love
I was his friends with benefits
But he was my lover
Sep 2019 · 1.2k
Bite marks & You
Nina Sep 2019
you gave me bite marks
Bites on my body
That no one else sees
Bites
That consists of pain
And also pleasure
You're the same like those marks
Both gives off
A temporary feelings
And eventually
It fades
Forever
Sep 2019 · 222
How long more
Nina Sep 2019
I'm not sure how long more
I can pretend to be happy
How long more
I'd be able to put this fake smile on my face
Endure my panic attacks
Living the day hiding the pain

Everything is going down hill
Nothing is getting better

I dont know
How long more
I'd be able to endure
Before i do something bad
Once again
Sep 2019 · 162
Broken
Nina Sep 2019
You're broken
Yet
You try to fix others that are broken
Just so you could feel
A little less broken
Sep 2019 · 129
Bottled emotions
Nina Sep 2019
It *****
When you bottle all your emotions up

When you pretend to be happy
When its clear that you're sad

When no matter how hard you try to fix things
You just end up destroying it

When you lose someone you love
But pretend to move on
Especially when they died infront of you

It *****
When you bottle up all your pain
For too long
Too much
That the bottle just crack
And everything is out once again
But this time
There's no way in hiding it
Sep 2019 · 897
I'm tired
Nina Sep 2019
I'm tired
I'm tired of faking my smiles
pretending to be happy
lying that I'm fine
I'm tired of being a disappointment
Being a mess
Being useless
I'm tired of dealing with toxic people
With a broken family
I'm tired of panic attacks
I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of everything
Sep 2019 · 319
Let me go
Nina Sep 2019
If my presence
Leave a scar in your heart
Please let me go
So you won't have to torture yourself
By having me around
Sep 2019 · 877
Bite marks
Nina Sep 2019
I'll leave these mark
To show the other girls
That im yours
And you are mine
Even though we are nothing
But just friends

I'll make sure
Your other dates
Won't want you
As much as i want you
Not couples, but you are mine
Aug 2019 · 1.1k
Unkiss me
Nina Aug 2019
He kissed me
Unexpectedly
Now
I can't get it out of my head
The thought of his lips
On my lips
The warmth
The goosebumps
I wanted to kiss him more
But I can't
I'm not allowed to
So please unkiss me
Since I can't kiss you
Make me forget
Those lips
That made me fly
Aug 2019 · 281
Drink my pain away
Nina Aug 2019
*****
Whiskey
***

Drink
Drink
Drink

How many shots have i had?
How many glasses has it been?

Does it matter?
All im trying to do is to numb the pain away
Drink
Drink
Drink

How many times have i used alcohol
To feel numb?
I've been drinking everyday

But on the bright side
I didn't harm myself
So ill keep drinking
To feel okay
Aug 2019 · 861
Self love
Nina Aug 2019
Learn to love yourself
Because no one ever will
Aug 2019 · 125
Drunk
Nina Aug 2019
Talk to me when you're drunk again
That's the only time i have your attention
You called me your girl
You held me by the hand
You tried to kiss me
You kept trying to get my attention

You were drunk
You were unaware of what you were doing
But I didn't care that night

Be drunk again
So i can experience it once more
Because out of all the girls that were there that night
I was the only one you did that to

So be drunk
Be mine
Now that you're sober
You don't remember me anymore
Aug 2019 · 347
Unsmile my smile
Nina Aug 2019
I couldn't help it
But to smile
Every time i look at you
Or think of you
It *****
Because it's pretty obvious
That i like you
You could see it  in my eyes
And especially my smile
But you don't care
You don't care about my feelings
So I'll promise you
Sooner or later
I won't be smiling
When i see your face
I will look at you with a straight face
And show you
That you're no longer
The reason why i smile
Aug 2019 · 338
Love & lust
Nina Aug 2019
I was looking for love
But he was looking for lust
I was trying to make love
He just wanted to have ***
Aug 2019 · 344
Be Mine
Nina Aug 2019
She was aware
That he wasn't here for long
A couple of months in her country  for work
And Just looking for someone to have fun with

She knew that from the beginning
But she was hoping he'd stay a little longer
She had already fallen for him
Too deep
To even say goodbye
She didn't mind the thought of him going back
As long as she knew she'd have him in her heart
So she begged
Deep inside her heart
For him to be hers
For him to fall for her
And only her
Hoping that one day,
He'll come back
And ask for her hand

He was just a tourist
That she fell for
And hoped to be his someday
So she begged
Hoping that he will fall in love with her
Just like how she fell for him
Aug 2019 · 1.1k
He turned me on
Nina Aug 2019
He had pretty eyes
And seductive lips
He told me
That i turn him on
I just laugh it off
But little did he know
He had turn me on first
Aug 2019 · 194
Irish Man
Nina Aug 2019
I met a guy
At a pub
He was way beyond tall
With pretty blue eyes
And long eyelashes

I couldn't help myself
But to stare into his eyes
And when he stares at me
Oh gosh I can't help it
But to smile at him
And seeing his smile
Makes me fall in love a little more

He was an Irish man
I never knew
I'd fall for an Irish man
I thought,maybe, he was british.
But i was wrong
But that didn't matter
I don't care that he was irish
For all it matters,
I was in love with an irish man

But sad news
He isn't looking for love
He was just looking for fun
But thats alright

I hope maybe
Someday
We can meet again
And maybe
By that time
I would have Irish Babies with him

He was the first irish man
I'd fallen for
And i hope
He's the only irish man I'd love
My story of meeting an irish man and falling for him
Aug 2019 · 135
You
Nina Aug 2019
You
I could fall for anyone i want
Choose anyone i want
But somehow
Its always been
You
Aug 2019 · 249
If i Knew
Nina Aug 2019
If i knew it would be our last goodbye
I would've end it in a nice way
If i knew it was the last time i could call you,
I would've let you talk the entire time
If i knew all of our text messages will be ignored,
I wouldn't have ended it with something rude
Instead
I would've said how much i loved you
How much i care
How much i need you
If i knew it was going to be the end
I would've prepared for a better ending
Aug 2019 · 609
Moved on
Nina Aug 2019
I knew I've moved on
When someone else is making me smile
Instead of you
Nina Aug 2019
when you love someone
You will give it all to that person
You will want to be with that person
You will be scared to lose that person

But when you truly love someone
You'll learn that someday,
You have no choice but to let go.
You'll understand that it's the only best thing you could do
To overcome the fear of letting go
And move on to a better life
To love someone
You have to prepare yourself
When it's time to let go
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